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Wanted: Purpose, Passion and Community

Wanted: Purpose, Passion and Community

 

When I was in Denver a few weeks ago for the annual Rendez-Vous of the Purposeful Planning Institute, I met a bunch of interesting people, as usual.

Having been there the past five years, I’m starting to see many familiar faces each time I return, which is great, of course.

And I always meet interesting new people every year as well.

Attendees come from a whole bunch of different backgrounds and professions, and occasionally I meet folks from areas where I’ve had no contact or experience.

Such was the case with the young women I met from Koplin Consulting.

Addiction TreatmentCommunity in family business

Koplin offers in-home counselling, treatment and recovery services for those working through addictions.

I’m fortunate to not have ever been in the market for those services for my family or for client families – yet (?).

I ended up at the same table over meals with all three of their representatives at the conference and I found them very refreshing.

During one of these discussions, it was mentioned that the key to successful recovery usually involves people finding strength in three places: Purpose, Passion and Community.

The “Trifecta”

When I hear about something that works in one area of life, I’m compelled to see if it could also apply elsewhere.

So today I want to look at those three elements from the perspective of families who are hoping to transition their wealth down through the generations.

I just searched each of those words on my website to confirm that I have actually addressed them all in this space over the years, several times, but not yet in the same post.

Family Purpose

For a family to be successful in passing down their wealth to the rising generation, it’s really helpful if they have some sort of shared purpose.

When a family undertakes the work necessary to figure this stuff out, they often start by trying to analyze everyone’s values first.

From individual values, they typically try to identify a handful of common values that everyone in the family can agree on.

Finding a common purpose becomes easier once you’ve decided on those shared values.

Individual Passions

Just like everyone has their own set of values, each individual will have their own passions.

But unlike the values, where we hope to find a few in common, to help lay out a clear family purpose, the individual passions should be looked at for each person separately.

Everyone has different things that make them tick, talents that they exhibit that set them apart, and activities that they do so well that when they’re doing them, it doesn’t ever feel like work.

Human Capital

The special talents, skills and passions that each person possesses are part of the family’s “human capital”, and ways should be found to leverage each person’s individual strengths.

Families that are able to harness the best from every member of the family will have a much easier time keeping their family wealth together for coming generations.

Part of a Community

When it comes to the “community” aspect of a family, I think the most common element is how much time

family members actually spend together.

Time with the family

And while that isn’t something that you’d measure with a stopwatch, there really is no substitute for “face time” in the old sense of the word.

Technology has made it much easier for people who are physically separated to be in regular contact, and that’s great, but to be successful at keeping their wealth in the family over generations, some regular contact is a prerequisite.

Wanting to Spend Time with Family

As I work with various families, it’s pretty easy to see which ones have got the community aspect figured out and which ones never will.

In many ways, it has more to do with wanting to spend time together, and looking forward to lots of interaction than it does with the amount of time they actually spend as a group.

Putting it All Together

Families wanting to benefit from the Purpose-Passion-Community idea can do so by spending time together working on their common values to drive a shared purpose.

They should allow each member to work their own passions within that, though, and not try to make everyone the same.

There’s no substitute to spending time together, with everyone bringing their best self. Good luck.

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Accountability in the Family Business

Back in June, in Five Things FamBiz Can Learn from Fortune 500’s, I noted a few ways Family Businesses could benefit from emulating large corporations.

After it went out to subscribers, I got an email from an old friend, suggesting a 6th thing I could’ve added: Accountability.

So I explained to “Gary” that my lists always stop at 5 (much to my wife’s consternation) and maybe I could tackle accountability in a future post.

 

And here we are…

 

Noticeable In Its Absence

 

Gary doesn’t come from a business family himself, but he did marry into one, so he’s familiar with some of the dynamics involved.

His email to me included this sentence:

“After placing individuals in the right “seat” for them to succeed, you must hold them accountable for both the execution of the strategy and corresponding results.”

This made me wonder if some of Gary’s in-laws were perhaps not being held sufficiently accountable for their execution and results.

Accountability is something that’s much easier to notice when it isn’t there, and often especially so by outsiders whose workplaces are much more formal than many family businesses.

 

General Accountability… with Exceptions (!)

 

Of course, there are some cases where lack of accountability causes more problems than others.

You may be inclined to think that as long as there is some accountability in a business, then that’s better than none at all.

Well, that would make perfect sense in many cases, but maybe not in some family businesses.

If you’ve ever worked for a company where everyone is held to account, except those who have the same last name as the boss, then you know what I mean.

 

Formality is your Friend

 

One of the bad raps that family businesses often get is that they are not run as professionally as they should be, and that’s often true.

I like to think that that it has more to do with the size of the company than whether it’s family-owned and operated.

A strong correlation between firm size and formality makes more sense to me than one centred on the level of family involvement.

 

Family Business Relations

Minimal Standards for Success

 

Gary mentioned strategy and results, so let’s look at those.

In the original post, I mentioned “Executing on Strategy” as my fourth point.

Now IF the business has a clearly understood strategy, AND those charged with its execution have the resources available to do their jobs effectively, then it makes perfect sense to hold the people accountable for the results.

Unfortunately, in too many family business cases, people can easily argue that they’ve been set up for failure because of a lack of clarity and/or resources.

 

 

Give Me an Another Chance

 

Nobody’s perfect and everyone deserves a second chance, right?  And family businesses are supposed to have more of a long-term orientation, so let’s not be too quick to judge, right?

The point where a lack of accountability really rears its ugly head is when it goes on and on, year after year, and nothing changes.

It’s never easy to have to come down hard on relatives, but at some point, it can become a matter of survival for the business.

 

Family Business Relations

Direct Reports

 

One of the simplest ways to minimize this issue is to try to make sure that nobody reports directly to a parent or a sibling.

In smaller companies, this can be almost impossible, but wherever it can be done, this should be a no-brainer.

 

 

Problems at the Top

 

One place that you might not expect there to be a problem with accountability is at the very top of family business, especially when the founder is still running the show.

But the fact that one person feels that they’re accountable only to themselves will probably catch up to just about every person at the top.

Most founders are reluctant to set up a board of directors for their business, because they prefer to run things as they see fit, by the seat of their pants, and never need to answer to anyone else.

 

Who can blame them?

 

The A-Ha Solution

 

At some point, when (if?) they realize that they are in fact mortal, they might wake up to the fact that once they’re gone, a board will be just what the doctor ordered for the company to succeed.

 

So why not set up the board now, to instill

accountability for the next generation, later?

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Forced Into the Family Business

Forced Into the Family Business

I don’t have many “rules” I share with family business people I work with, mostly because every family is unique.

I also think that every family can and should come up with its own rules, “BY the family, FOR the family”.

But if you twisted my arm and insisted that I give you one rule that I think most families should follow, it’s this one:

 

Before working in the family business, rising generation family members

should first get a job working somewhere else for a few years.

 

Exceptions to Every Rule

There are exceptions to every rule, but I think this one will stand every family in good stead.

My Dad had heard this suggestion when I was younger, but he believed that our family was the exception, so I went straight into the company out of school.

The fact that I believe in this rule, despite having been an exception myself, should tell you a lot.

(Hint: I have long wished we HAD followed that rule).

 

Forcing Kids Into the Business

Many people who work in their family’s business are there because, to one degree or another, they were “forced” into it.

Sure, they don’t want to miss out, it’s their “duty”, and often the path of least resistance.

But deep down inside, if they had their druthers, there are other jobs or careers that would have suited these people much better.

Also, I really don’t think that forcing people to do anything is a very good idea for long-term success.

 

Can Forcing Them Be a Good Idea?

So I guess that it may come as a surprise to you that I actually support forcing your kids to work for the family business.

There, I said it. Yes, it’s true.

If you have a family business and you have kids, I think that it is a good idea to force your kids to work for the business.

 

Important Clarification

Now, there is a very important part of the statement that I want to make sure that everyone also understands.

You may have noted it already, thanks to my word choice, which I repeated, twice.

The important word here is “kids”, that is, minors, specifically teenagers.

And, notably, I’m also talking only about part-time or summer jobs.

 

My A-Ha Moment

The idea for this post came a couple of months ago during the #FamilyBizChat that happens about once a month on Twitter.

The topic was family employment policies.

All of a sudden I noticed a Tweet from someone who mentioned that he thought that making the kids work for the family business was a great idea!

Wait, WHAT???

 

A Voice of Experience

When I looked at the Twitter handle of the person who posted it, I didn’t recognize it at first. Upon further inspection, I realized that what the man posted made perfect sense.

Looking at his bio and last name, I quickly realized that he was the son of a colleague I know through FFI (Family Firm Institute).

That colleague is one of the few FFI members I know who’s a family business founder.

(Most FFI members are people who work with family businesses, many of whom also have a family business background as well).

Very few run large family enterprises.

 

Personal Flashback

The poster noted that he believed forcing kids to work for the business teaches them responsibility and work ethic.

Who am I to argue?

I started working for my Dad’s company when I was 15, and before that, I was “forced” (strongly encouraged?) to have a paper route for 3 years.

Responsibility? Check. Work ethic? Check.

I think I turned out OK.

 

Devil in the Details

So let’s do a quick recap.

Part-time jobs on weekends or after school, yes, having the kids work for the family business is usually great.

This assumes that both sides are getting what they need out of it.

The same goes for summer jobs or internships, they’re a great way to learn and experience what a full time job is like.

BUT, once they’re no longer teenagers, and they’re beginning their career, that’s a new phase.

This is when my only real “rule” comes into play.

Please insist that they go and find a job elsewhere, for at least a couple of years, and then, and only then, invite them to join the family business.

You’ll all be glad you did.

 

See Also:  From my Quick Start Guide Series:

My Kids in My Business? [Yes/No, When, How, Why]

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Five Things FamBiz Can Learn from Fortune 500’s

Five Things FamBiz Can Learn from Fortune 500’s

People who work in family businesses often relate interesting stories about how things are done in their companies.

These tales can be difficult for some outsiders to understand and believe sometimes.

The most intriguing part is usually the fact that so many of these family companies are very successful, despite some of the non-traditional ways they operate.

Today I want to outline five ways that family businesses can improve the way they do things, by learning from bigger companies, like those found in the Fortune 500.

 

  1. Succession At ALL Levels

Large corporations usually put a priority on having a great bench of people in every department. They also typically have regular movement via promotions to keep everyone and the company advancing.

Most family businesses don’t put much priority on this, and loyalty and stability are often the focus for employees.

Owners of family businesses could make this more of a priority by starting at the top and insisting that other departments below them follow suit.

“Human resources” is actually a great term that tends to get lost. Seeing “humans” as a “resource” is key.

 

  1. Formality Is Your Friend

Many family businesses operate very informally, with few “procedures”, and many tasks that remain centralized in the heads of one or two key people.

Family businesses are often limited by how well the leaders can delegate and teach others to do many tasks.

Delegating would enable them to work ON their business, instead of working IN their business.

There are plenty of books on empowering employees, time management, and learning to delegate.

It behooves family business leaders to learn to formalize things so the business can grow beyond their own personal abilities.

 

  1. Distributed Leadership

Large corporations typically have many leaders, whose operations are guided by leadership groups and teams.

Many family businesses are led by one person, or a very small group of people who call all of the shots.

Understanding that the growth of any company will be limited to its leadership abilities is the first step.

Then they need to learn that growing their leadership team takes lots of time and needs to become a priority.

If you are starting to see a theme in these five things, good for you, it’s not an accident.

 

  1. Executing On Strategy

Every Fortune 500 company has a corporate strategy, and their focus is to then execute on that strategy.

Many family businesses do not take the time to make and formalize the long-term plans that go into a true company strategy.

When family businesses begin to do the things noted above, the result is the ability to have strategic planning meetings, with strong leaders from every department, who can then work together to outline the best strategy for the company to follow.

Once they have a strategy, they can then focus on executing it. If they haven’t made the effort to come up with and agree on a strategy, their chances of success will be limited.

Even if most of the employees are good at executing their jobs, if those tasks are not part of a coherent strategy, many opportunities will be lost.

 

  1. Best Person for Each Key Position

Family businesses often have people in positions for which they are really not well suited. These are often family members who are there because they have the right last name.

This is so much easier said than done, but qualified people are necessary for any business to function well.

There are of course several issues at play in these cases. One of them is the salary that the person is being paid for sub-optimal performance.

But the bigger problem is the performance itself if there could be a better, more qualified person in the role.

Sometimes a lateral move is the answer, so the family member can still be paid, but the key role is actually filled by a qualified person.

 

Take It Or Leave I

I’m sure that some people in family businesses will read this and think that my ideas are not worth the effort to pursue.

I am NOT saying that every family business MUST do these things to be successful. That is certainly NOT my feeling.

For those trying to create a long lasting business that they can pass on to future generations of their family, well, these ideas are merely the first few logical steps.

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Family Business Without the Drama

Family Business Without the Drama

This week I want to discuss a subject that sometimes shows up in family businesses, and that’s “drama”.

But unlike some things that come and go in one business family or another, drama seems to either be largely present or mostly absent, depending on the family.

Let me try that again for the sake of clarity.

I find that some family businesses function in “all drama, all the time” mode, while other families might wonder what I’m talking about when they read this because they don’t operate that way at all.

Let’s take a little dramatic side trip now and we’ll come back to family business after.

 

Eliminating the Wicked Witch

I recently attended a High School play and I witnessed some unexpected bonus drama that occurred in the audience.

It was a presentation of The Wizard of Oz in a very small theatre on a Friday evening.

There were a few young children and toddlers present, presumably to watch their older siblings and cousins perform.

Everything was going as planned until the Wicked Witch of the West arrived on stage.

The girl who played her was perfectly cast.

I know this for a fact, because she had told me personally “Hey Dad, how perfect, I get to be the Wicked Witch!”

 

Exit Theater Left

The Wicked Witch’s arrival on stage, with her booming voice, green face, and the stage presence that only a six-foot-tall actress could pull off was simply too much for some of the younger patrons.

Crying, squealing, mothers taking their kids out into the hall, just wow. The witch’s parents were in hysterics observing this scene.

Each time she reappeared on the stage, there was palpable anxiety in the audience. Thankfully, when Dorothy finally eliminated her, a more calm and serene mood was enjoyed by fans of all ages.

 

Who’s Your Witch?

There are different kinds of drama in family businesses, but one common version is a variation of the witch.

I’m talking about people in the business whose mere presence has everyone on edge.

Likewise, when they are absent, everyone knows it too, and they can actually relax and get their work done.

 

Who Needs an Antagonist?

While a play needs someone to act as an antagonist, a business does not.

I’ve used the word “drama” here, and also talked about the “anxiety” that is sometimes felt.

They are not exactly the same but surely related. You can have anxiety without drama, but I’m not sure that you can have drama without any anxiety.

My conclusion is therefore that minimizing drama in a workplace should be a desirable goal.

 

Workplace Versus Homefront

Note that I chose the word “workplace” just there.

Sometimes the drama needs to have an outlet, and my argument here is that efforts should be made to limit the drama in the workplace, for the sake of the people who are there to get their jobs done.

So am I saying that people should bottle things up at the office and then bring their drama home with them?

Well, I’m not sure that would be the best interpretation either.

 

Drama Kings and Queens

Those responsible for the drama are quite often the same people, and they often play their “roles” in predictable ways.

It can be very difficult to get them to change their ways. But once a drama queen, well, usually “always a drama queen”.

So now what?

Well, the only person you can actually control is the person you see in the mirror, and so that is naturally where I’m going to suggest you put your focus.

 

Respond, Don’t React

A couple of weeks back in Your Response is Your Responsibility, I suggested that you make every effort necessary to avoid reacting, and instead take a deep breath, pause, and offer a response instead.

Drama kings, at home or at work, enjoy the reactions their tactics elicit.

When denied the satisfaction of those reactions, they may slowly, eventually, begin to subside, if only just a little bit.

 

Don’t Fight Fire with Fire

While it’s sometimes very tempting to fight dramatic fire with dramatic fire, I think that these fires should be fought with water instead.

Let’s end with a quote from George Bernard Shaw that makes this point nicely:

“I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig.

You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.”

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Five FamBiz Strengths to Capitalize On

Five FamBiz Strengths to Capitalize On

It’s been a couple of months since my last “5 Things…” post, so it’s time to pull that framework out again.

This time the emphasis is on the positive, though, as we look at the bright side of family businesses.

 

Here we go with 5 FamBiz strengths to capitalize on:

 

  1. Long-term view

Most family business leaders are much more concerned with the very long-term success of the company than they are about the short term.

Managers of publicly traded companies are typically much more focused on their next quarterly financial report.

For a business owned by a family, the month-to-month, quarter-to-quarter and even year-to-year fluctuations are far less important.

When you’re trying to build something for your family, that could hopefully include not only your children but also your grandchildren, a long-term view just comes naturally.

Smart family businesses capitalize on that strength by constantly building their staying power, and not getting sidetracked by having to look good every quarter.

 

  1. Trust

One of the main reasons people choose to hire family members is because they trust them.

It’s natural to trust those you know well more than those you do not and those who come from the same background as you do.

Hiring family members ticks both those boxes quite well.

Of course, there are exceptions, where knowing someone well simply confirms that you cannot trust them, and those scenarios arise in far too many families.

But in terms of strengths that family businesses can capitalize on, the ability to put people into a position to succeed by empowering them is something that built-in trust allows them to do quite readily.

 

  1. Brand

There was a time when calling yourself a family business was seen as quaint and somehow admitting to being less good than “real” businesses.

That pendulum has swung back pretty strongly in last decade or so. I’m not sure exactly what’s behind it, but it certainly feels very real.

There have been plenty of surveys done in recent years that confirm that customers often prefer to deal with family businesses whenever possible.

Part of it is surely the “buy local” phenomenon, to help keep neighbourhood businesses thriving, but even large-scale businesses are no longer shying away from self-identifying as family businesses.

Not many have actually incorporated this fact into their branding per se, but S.C. Johnson certainly has.

They’ve even recently kicked it up a notch, changing their slogan from “A Family Company” to “A Family Company at Work for a Better World”.

 

  1. Work Ethic

You may want to lump this one in with Trust, but I like to talk about it separately. The person who started and grew the business is usually a hard worker, and that hard work surely contributes to the company’s success.

When their children or other family members come on board, that work ethic is usually contagious. Most offspring will exhibit similar tendencies to their parents.

Of course, as with trust, there are exceptions. We have all seen them and heard about them. I maintain that there are far more good examples that we never hear about, than bad examples that make the news.

Good parenting and leading by example are a huge part of this, and the exceptions noted above are often related more to shortcomings as a parent as opposed to business leadership.

 

  1. Magic (Intangibles)

I will forgive readers who have never actually worked for a family business for not understanding this point about “magic”.

It may just be one of those things that you have to experience to understand in depth.

There are aspects to these intangibles that manifest themselves in good times and in bad.

Successful family businesses usually feel a bit like a family even for those who are not related to the family that owns the company.

Celebrating successes with family members is usually a much richer experience. And maybe part of that is having come through some of the setbacks together as a team.

 

Capitalizing on these Strengths

Sometimes we don’t recognize what we have until someone from the outside points it out to us. Most fish love water, but they probably don’t really know that.

So if you are part of a family business, I hope you will look at this list and recognize some of these as strengths, and hopefully capitalize on them, even more, going forward.

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There is No Destination

There is No Destination

The inspiration for this week’s post comes from a great quote that I saw on Twitter a couple of weeks ago. It’s from Marie Forleo, a life coach and motivational speaker.

I started following her on Twitter a few months ago, after catching an interview that she’d done with Brené Brown, about Brown’s book, Braving the Wilderness.

(Watch it on Youtube)

Here’s my verbatim recollection of her Tweet:

There is no destination.  

It’s ALL journey. All. Of. It.

Wow, I’ve been a big fan of the whole “life is a journey” mentality for a while, but I’d never heard anyone say it so clearly and emphatically.

 

Family Business Versions 

It’s pretty easy to get seduced by “destinations” in life, and family businesses are no strangers to this phenomenon.

“If we can just get to $X,000,000 in sales, then we will have made it. “ (Where X can be 1, 10, 100…)

Another good one is “I can’t wait to take over from Dad as President.”

Okay, a nice goal to have, but not really a great destination in and of itself, as that’s when the real work begins.

(I can think of a prominent example of someone wanting to become President, but then being less than thrilled with actually having to do the job, but alas, I try to avoid discussing politics in this space.)

 

Interim Stopping Points

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against setting goals, such as annual sales figures, or promotions to key positions.

Studies show that people who don’t write down their goals are much less likely to achieve them, and that makes perfect sense.

In fact, setting goals for your department, team, or the whole company, is also something that everyone should be doing, but you want to make sure that those are simply seen as interim stopping points along the way.

Hit the goal, savour it, celebrate it, and then move on to the next goal. Remember: It is not a destination.

 

Enjoy the Ride

For me, the biggest takeaway here is that we are always on our way somewhere, so we may as well enjoy it.

In fact, if we are NOT enjoying it, we should really consider finding another journey to take.

Find a journey that you will enjoy.

There are plenty of people who are doing things that they don’t enjoy, and guess what, some of them even work in their own family’s business.

Many of those are likely deluding themselves into thinking that things will magically improve, you know, once they reach the “destination”.

If you believe that, I invite you to re-read the title of this blog post.

 

Personal Perspective

We all have our own perspective on this subject and I’d like to share mine. No, this won’t be a “just do what I did” story because that isn’t generally how I roll.

Actually, it’s more of a “don’t do what I did” lesson, that I hope some people will benefit from.

And by the end of this, I may even partially contradict my major premise here, but here goes.

 

Early Liquidity Event

In 1991, with a freshly minted MBA degree in my pocket, I returned to our family business, expecting to be groomed to eventually take over.

This had been Dad’s plan since my birth. Notice I did not say it was MY plan.

Instead, within 6 months of my return, we (he) sold the operations of the company, and we went from 250 employees to 4, and eventually 3.

I then spent the following 2 decades running our small family office, doing what needed to be done.

 

No Destination, Not Even a Journey

I wasn’t until 2013 that I finally had my calling, to do the family business work that now drives me in everything I do.

For over 20 years, I did what I thought I was supposed to do, acting as the “dutiful son”.

I know other rising generation family members who are following similar paths, and while it is a path, if it isn’t a journey that you enjoy, it doesn’t make for much of an enjoyable career.

 

“My” Journey

Everyone deserves an opportunity to find and do something that drives them to be able to enjoy the journey of life.

So glad I found mine, better late than never!

What’s yours? What’s in your way?

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Evolving Gender Roles in Family Business

Evolving Gender Roles in Family Business

Sometimes family businesses don’t get enough credit for the societal leadership they so often exhibit.

The long-term view that they bring to the way they plan, strategize and operate, make them a special subset of businesses in general.

For example, many people instantly recognize that family business leaders are often great philanthropists, especially in their local areas.

 

Gender Balance

There’s another area that I’m starting to notice more and more where family businesses are taking an important leadership role, and that’s gender balance.

When looking at any such leadership role, you might think about the intent of any of these leaders, and imagine that there’s some concentrated effort on their part.

But family businesses don’t typically get together and decide that family businessess should do this or that.

They decide what’s best for their family, and once it turns out that many of them are doing the same thing, the leadeship trend emerges.

 

Wife, Daughter, Sister, Niece 

It seems to me that family businesses are leading the way in the area of gender balance in management and leadership roles.

My evidence is anecdotal, based on things that I read and come across on various forms of media.

But it also doesn’t surprise me either.

When it comes time to decide which person to promote to a key position, a high performing woman is less likely to be overlooked when she also happens to be the daughter, sister, cousin or niece of one of the leaders.

 

My Own Backyard 

Perhaps it’s because family businesses have always had a tendency to promote from within, that it’s more natural that any strong woman will be given more of a chance.

When I just think about my own daughter and nieces, as well as my wife and sisters, I know that they are at least as qualified as any man in their roles, and usually much more so.

 

Evolving Business Styles

It might also have something to do with the way that businesses are being run in less of an old-fashioned, authoritarian way.

The “macho male” attitude doesn’t seem to cut it like it used to, certainly not in the North American culture I’m most familiar with.

A softer touch, more inclusive leadership styles, and more democratic decision-making styles all seemingly play into the trend.

 

Family Roles

The traditional family roles of wife and mother versus husband and father have also changed a lot over the past few decades and generations.

The “stay-at-home parent” isn’t as much of a staple as it was when I was a kid and everyone went home from school for a nice lunch that Mom was busy making.

Those days are long gone.

Even in cases where one parent makes the conscious choice of taking a career break in order to take on child-raising full time, it isn’t always the mother.

And with couples having children at a later age, the eventual return to the work force can also be an easier fit for a mother who decides to go back to a family business.

 

Goodbye Primogeniture?

While it may be too early to say Goodbye to primogeniture, things are being done in family businesses today that were pretty inconceivable just a few decades ago.

It isn’t just the gender balance either; there are more and more sibling teams running things as more or less equals, with a trend to title sharing like naming a brother-sister team as “Co-Presidents”.

If any two people could pull that off properly, I’d bet on a sibling team anytime.

 

Soft Skills in a Family Business

I’m not sure this is a 100% true statement, but it seems to me that the “softer skills”, like getting along, democratic decision making, open communication, authenticity and teamwork are even more important in family businesses.

But just because these skills may be more “necessary” there, does that mean we will find them there?

I’m not sure I could make that case strongly; but what I can say is that a family business where the people have those skills, and have things structured for those skills to shine, will be the ones that thrive.

 

Generational Transitions

A family business will only remain one as long as the family can agree enough to hold onto it.

Having the kinds of people in charge to make this happen will require diverse groups going forward.

Bet on it, sister!

 

Note:

Between when I first drafted this blog and when I was wrapping it up, my friend and FFI colleague Carrie Hall published this piece which complements it nicely:

Please see:           Why family businesses have a higher percentage of women leaders

 

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The Importance or Saying “NO” in a FamBiz

The Importance or Saying “NO” in a FamBiz

Family businesses sometimes get a bad rap because of the way they often do things less formally than a “more professional” company would.

The less formal nature of any business can be a plus in many ways, but of course it can turn into a negative too.

When they do turn negative, it’s usually because someone has agreed to something (i.e. said “Yes”) that they really should have said “No” to.

Today we’re going to look at some of those cases.

 

Summer Jobs

Quite often the children of the “boss” get their first real exposure to the business as teenagers with a summer job.

When a teen asks “Can I have a summer job?” the best answer is usually “Yes”.

The part where it can be hard to say No is if there are follow-up questions like, “Can I take Fridays off?” or “Can I take a couple of weeks off” or “Can I start a bit later than everyone else?”

If the job is to work with other regular employees who all follow certain rules, every time you make an exception for them, you’re setting a bad precedent, that not only affects your child, but also everyone else who sees the special treatment.

 

Full-Time Jobs

When you’re dealing with adult children, the idea of consistency and no special favours also often comes into play.

“Can I get a job at the company?” will often be answered with a Yes.

But, “Can I have the same pay as my sister for less work, because I have family obligations?” should probably be greeted with a No.

“Can I come in later, work from home most of the time, take Fridays off, etc.” are things that other employees see and if they become standard perks for family employees and no one else, these are huge morale killers.

 

The Other Side of the Coin

Lest you think that it’s only the next generation who ask for things to which the parents should be saying No, I’ve got a more drastic scenario for you.

This one also occurs far more often than it should, and it involves the parents taking advantage of their kids.

Picture the daughter and/or son, who have been diligently working for the family business for decades, not only following the rules that exist for all of the employees, but going above and beyond.

 

Some Day this Will All Be Yours

They work evenings and weekends, never take a vacation, and do everything that’s ever asked of them.

They ask the owners, their parents, for a raise or some time off, but they are rebuffed with something along the lines of “Some day this will all be yours”.

That can be an acceptable answer, for a while.

Five years later, when it comes up again, and the answer is still just as vague, that’s where the children need to be able to say NO.

 

When Exactly IS “Some Day”?

At some point, some clarity, especially around the “when”, is needed. But just because you want clarity, and even need clarity, that doesn’t mean that you automatically get clarity.

Sometimes you need to demand it. And that begins with a firm NO.

As I write this, I’m picturing the old sitcom plot where the mother is tired of being taken for granted and decides to go “on strike”, and finally the husband and kids realize how lucky they are to have Mom around taking care of so many things.

 

Respect the Interdependence 

As the years and decades go by and family members age and grow into new roles that fit their evolving life stages, the “power balance” shifts.

The people and the roles are very much interdependent all the way through, but the nature of that interdependence changes too.

It’s usually so gradual and incremental that you barely notice it, but it is happening. Sometimes you need to take the time to stop and notice and decide that the way things have been going doesn’t work anymore.

In this circumstance the “NO” is not necessarily the answer to a question, it’s more of a statement.

 

NO, I’m Not Settling for That Anymore

Many people get to the point where they feel this way. Not all of them have the courage to make the statement though.

I’m not saying that it’s easy, but at some point it needs to be said.

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Even If It Hurts

Even If It Hurts

Last week, in The 3 R’s: Finding a “Responsive Reliable Resource”, while writing about people who are “Reliable”, I stumbled upon an idea that I promised to revisit in a future blog.

As I put it then, “As I write these words, I’m realizing that there’s a whole other blog that I’ll need to write, to expound upon this question”.

So expound I will.

 

Hurting Me, Hurting You

The key point at the root of my “eureka” moment came from this sentence:

“I want to be able to rely on someone to tell me the truth,

even if it hurts me, AND, even if it hurts them.”

These are two completely separate points, yet I’ve never seen them addressed together. That’s what made it so compelling for me to look at this again this week.

 

Tell Me the Truth, I Can Take It

One of the biggest problems that people at the top always face, no matter what kind of organisation they’re in, is having people tell them things that they “don’t want to hear”.

The CEO of a company will not always hear the truth from their underlings, not because those people are liars, but because most people have an aversion to telling their boss things that are not pleasant to relate.

The interesting part about this is that more often than not, they actually DO want to hear those things.

In fact, good leaders don’t want to be surrounded by “Yes-Men”.

 

How Long Will It Hurt? 

The reality is that hearing the truth, if it’s something that you really do need to know and you really cannot see yourself, only hurts for a very short time.

Strong leaders realize that they’re not in a popularity contest, and that sometimes you need to hear things that hurt.

In order to make progress, a reality check is often needed, and folks at the top actually need to have MORE people who aren’t afraid to tell it like it is.

It’s great if you have people upon whom you can rely to play that role.

 

Despite My Self-Interest

That was one side of the “hurting” question, now let’s get to the even trickier part.

The “even if it hurts them” aspect can best be summed up in one word, “self-interest”. Not sure if a compound word really counts as one word, but I’ll use my “editorial license” to make it so here.

If you aren’t familiar with the “Trust Equation” or the “Trust Quotient”, I suggest you visit this site:

TrustedAdvisor.com  so that you don’t just think I’m making this stuff up.

The denominator of the Trust Equation is “Self-Orientation” as they put it. “Self-interest” and “self-orientation” may not be identical twins, but they are most definitely close siblings.

 

Not Placing Blame

Business families are served by a variety of professionals from different industries, including legal, accounting, insurance, investment management and banking to name a few of the major ones.

Every person naturally brings their own perspective to the family’s situation, and that perspective is naturally rooted in their professional training, background and orientation.

It’s next to impossible for a banker to look at your family business from any other perspective than that of a banker, and likewise difficult for your attorney to look at things from a viewpoint other than that of your legal counsel.

I believe these things to be true in general in just about every profession, even though there are exceptions in all of them.

 

So What?

Well, if you’re looking for “reliable resources” you can count on, you really have to understand that getting 100% unbiased advice, especially if it might go against their own interest, will almost never happen.

And I’m not saying that any of your advisors are unethical or crooked in any way. They very likely believe that everything that they suggest to you is actually best for you.

 

What Are You Paying Them For?

Unfortunately for leaders of business families, most of the professionals upon whom they rely are paid for certain products and services that these people sell them.

Those who truly have their client’s interest as their top concern and only interest, are few and far between.

There aren’t many people who play that role but if you can find one, keep them!

Finding a reliable person you pay only for their counsel can be done.

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