This week we’re going to look at something that’s a little bit further afield from many of the more hands-on topics that I sometimes cover in this space.
Of course I will still make an attempt to connect the discussion to the field of family enterprise and intergenerational wealth transitions, because that’s still the main goal here.
Regular readers may recall that I’ve been meditating every day for almost two years now, so you shouldn’t be too surprised when I tell you that the inspiration for this blog comes from a meditation recording that I was listening to recently.
How Not to Judge Your Meditation Session
One of the apps that I use daily is 10% Happier, based on Dan Harris’ book of the same name. One of his main meditation gurus, featured in both the book and on the app, is Joseph Goldstein.
In one of the recordings featuring Goldstein that I listened to recently, he noted that a mediation session can leave you feeling disappointed or confused at times, but that that’s alright and even to be expected. (I’m paraphrasing here)
His point was that you cannot judge your meditation by whether or not it is pleasant. Life has its ups and downs, which is to be expected, and so meditation should be no different.
The point was being stressed for beginners, in the hopes that they not give up the practice, simply because they do not walk away from every experience with perfect happiness and enlightenment.
Is It Any Different in a Family Business?
So now let’s think about this idea in terms of a family business, or, maybe even more specifically, from the point of view of various members of a business family.
Not everyone is going to be happy, all the time. That’s to be expected, and there are likely cycles of ups and downs for the business and for the people who are part of the family, and part of the business.
I think it’s important for everyone to take stock of where they are from time to time and recognize that things can’t always be rosy.
Different Views from Different Generations?
Some people may think that one of the real variables here is the generation that you happen to belong to. Let me explain.
When you’re young and working your way into the business, it may feel like you need to put up with things being a little bit tough for you, but oh, look out, when I get to be the one in charge, man, this is going to be awesome and everything will be great.
Meanwhile, the senior generation, who are stuck with their own problems and worries, may be looking at their younger relatives and thinking, “man, don’t they have it easy!”.
Should I Stay or Should I Go?
The reason that I decided to write about this topic was the idea that sometimes people working in their family business have unrealistic expectations about how much fun they will have and how great every day is going to be.
If you’re in such a situation, great, you’re doing better than most, more power to you, and may it ever be so.
There are probably more people who are in situations that are closer to the other end of that continuum, though.
I guess my suggestion to them is to occasionally step back and re-evaluate their decision to work there.
Was It Even My Decision?
If you’re one of those people who find working in your family business as a series of unpleasant circumstances, day after day, you may also be someone who has trouble with that last sentence, the one where I qualified the idea of working there as “their decision”. Ha!
If you’re like many people who are working in your family’s business, and you can honestly say that it was not your decision, or your choice, then my idea about stepping back and re-evaluating things may be even more important.
Something to Talk About
You’ve got a lot to think about, and hopefully sooner or later, something to talk about.
Talk with your family, talk with a coach, talk with your business partners, whether they are family members or not.
It may not be fun, but if you just keep going in an environment that you hate, how does that end?
These conversations won’t necessarily be comfortable, but hopefully they’ll be productive.