This week we’ll look at some characteristics of successful business families, with some analogies to hopefully make my case more compelling.
Longtime readers with great memories may recall that I’ve noted this “glue and grease” idea before.
In late 2017, in My Notes from a Great Keynote, I touched on this idea for the first time.
The keynote speech in question had mentioned that one of the benefits of clarifying a family’s values is that they provide some “glue” that is important in keeping a family united.
I added that in addition to keeping things together, it’s also important that things continue to run smoothly, so that “grease” is also a key element, in addition to glue.
My Kingdom for Some Greasy Glue?
At the end of that post, I asked if any readers could provide me with examples of substances that had qualities of both glue and grease, in the hopes that there would be some product that I could point to when talking about this subject.
Alas nobody come forward with any ideas, which was a bit disappointing, but certainly not surprising.
The idea has continued to simmer in the back of my head ever since. I was determined to revisit this and so here we are. I wish that I could claim that I had a “eureka” moment, but alas, I haven’t.
But I may be getting closer. We’ll wrap up this post with that, but in the meantime, let’s talk about those important qualities for enterprising families.
“Family-Ness”: Finding Goldilocks
For any family hoping to succeed at keeping their wealth together over generations, they really need to have enough “family-ness” to keep everything and everyone together to a certain degree.
In the first generation or two of the building of the family wealth, this is usually much easier, since most of the family members will have grown up in the same household, or at least in close proximity to one another.
When you get to the third and fourth generations, it’s quite common for people and family branches to have spread out to different geographical locations, and even other countries.
When family members don’t see each other as regularly, it can get more difficult for everyone to feel like they’re still a part of the same family.
That’s why it’s necessary to ensure at least some recognition of this, along with the intention to make enough of a sustained effort to be sure that some family events are always on the calendar.
But can there be too much family-ness?
Krazy Glue is NOT Ideal
While many family members love spending time together, there’s always the possibility of having too much of a good thing. There are limits. I enjoy spending time with my family members, and I hope that they enjoy spending time with me. But I’m not sure that I’d invite them to stay with me for an extended period of time either.
Even siblings who get along famously can run into issues after they each get married and you throw the in-laws into the mix.
Trying to force the issue of family time can be worse than not having enough.
Grease: Communication and Flow
When people feel too stuck together, because the glue has hardened and now they can’t escape, new problems can arise.
As important as it is for everyone to feel comfortable to enter the family space, they need to also feel just as comfortable to exit.
While my grease analogy is certainly about lots of clear communication, including making sure all family members understand what the glue is that is keeping them together, it’s also about the flow of people into and out of the system, each according to their own comfort level.
Salad Dressing: My Little Eureka?
The best analogy that I’ve managed to come up with for my glue and grease is salad dressing. I’m a huge Costco fan, and they always have a variety of salad kits, of which I’ve tried a handful.
When you open them up, some of the leafy greens typically find their way onto the counter. Until you add the dressing and mix it in.
Then things hold together better. And when you add in the other ingredients, they all hang together nicely, while still sliding around freely.
Salad without any dressing is clearly missing something.
Likewise families need glue AND grease.