A typical blog post for me begins with some context about its genesis, and this one will be no different.
A few weeks back in NYC at the IFG Conference, it was at the lunch session, where we had signed up for table discussions with like-minded attendees.
I had pre-selected the table for “Family Enterprise Advising & Role of Consultants”. I was one of the first to arrive at the table with my lunch, so I sat down at a nearly empty table that was about to fill up.
Within minutes, who should sit to my left but Dennis Jaffe, who had been assigned the role of discussion facilitator?
If you’re at all interested in the subjects that I write about and you don’t know Dennis Jaffe, he’s one of our true thought leaders, he’s worked with families around the world, and his writings are required reading.
A woman then sat to my right but realized that she was in the wrong place, and as soon as she got up to relocate, another woman I had not yet met took her place.
And Another Thought Leader
Someone welcomed her, saying “Hi Covie” and I quickly realized that I was now sitting next to Coventry Edwards-Pitt, whose books I have also read.
In fact, a few months back, she had sent me a signed and dedicated copy of her latest book, AGED Healthy Wealthy and Wise, for a client of mine, even though we had never met (it’s great to have friends in this business to hook you up!)
Many business cards were exchanged around the table and a lively discussion soon began.
Although we had all selected the same affinity table, it quickly became clear that we all worked with families in different ways.
Coaching Versus Facilitation
Someone noted that sometimes we need to tell clients things they don’t want to hear, and that on occasion, that can get you fired by the client.
Another person at our table who was an executive coach had some difficulty relating to this, and I think that had a lot to do with the fact that he works with individual clients, and he takes plenty of time to assess the coach-client fit before each engagement.
Facilitators, on the other hand, need to “please” everyone, because there are lots of people who might want to fire them.
While we did not get into this that day, I’ve had interesting discussions with other colleagues around whether or not we “graduate” clients, i.e. work with them until they no longer need us, and can work out their family governance without us.
There are different views on this, but getting families to become self-sufficient is certainly a laudable goal for many of us.
We all recognize that every family is different, and that they also change over time. The same can be said of their advisors.
At last fall’s FFI Conference in London, I was part of a group of four colleagues who held a breakout session on what we dubbed the “Practitioners Spectrum” that looked at this in some detail.
We broke attendees into 6 groups, depending on how they normally saw their work with family clients.
We ran the gamut from Counselling and Mediation to Consulting and Facilitation, and then to Mentoring and Coaching.
Getting the Timing Right
And because families are always changing, timing is a constant issue. Add in the fact that the work we do with families is best done when it is not urgent (not to be confused with unimportant!) people who work with enterprising families are often frustrated by delays that are out of our control.
We regularly need to compete for time with people who are very busy working in their businesses, putting out proverbial fires.
In the end, the match between a family business and their advisors can often come down to serendipity, which has long been one of my favourite concepts.
I’m reminded of a blog I wrote a few months back, Genetics, Luck, and Karma: Secrets to FamBiz Success because sometimes you just don’t know why certain things click.
But if you play your cards right, and recognize that what goes around, comes around, you will do alright.
Reminds me of another favourite saying:
“The harder I work, the luckier I get.”