If Ignorance is Bliss, What’s Oblivion?

I am often prone to thinking about abstract concepts, and lately my brain seems to be in overdrive in this area.

Hopefully, I will be able to tie things up into something relevant and useful for those who are interested in business families and the succession issues that they face. Ultimately, that is the goal of this blog.

We have all heard that ignorance is bliss. What that statement means to me is that sometimes when you are unaware of something (usually something bad), you are actually happier than you would be if you were aware of it.

Say you are in a foreign country where you do not understand the language. You pass a sign that says that you have just entered a dangerous area. Assuming you survive, would you have been happier knowing that, or remaining ignorant of the fact?

Now being ignorant of too many things is not necessarily wonderful either, in fact, the term “Ignoramus” is not usually used for flattery.

We are all ignorant of many things, due to the simple fact that no person can know everything. Some people act like they know everything, but that is another subject. They don’t. Nobody knows everything.

But there is another form of ignorance that is slightly different, and it is oblivion. To be “oblivious” is to be unaware. It is not a lack of knowledge of a subject in general, but a lack of realisation in a particular situation.

I get frustrated when I shop in stores with narrow aisles. I like to move quickly, find what I need, get in, and get out. But there are always (well not always, but it seems like always) oblivious people in my way. They stand in the middle of the aisle, sometimes with a shopping cart left in a spot that makes them even harder to get around, and they seem to be there to thwart my progress.

That kind of oblivion (the word “obliviousness” seems better in some ways, but is really not very elegant to say) is relatively benign.

My father was less ignorant than most people. If a subject interested him, he could study it quickly and get a deeper knowledge than many who were much more familiar than him.

But oblivion? Wow, what a difference. Maybe it was his entrepreneurial nature, always moving forward, always focussed on getting something done. Too much focus on one topic almost lends itself to being unaware of other things going on around you at the same time.

How many business families can relate to this one? Dad is hard at work, building the business for his family. What other things is he missing? Anyone? Bueller? Anyone?

So if ignorance is bliss, what is oblivion? It could also be bliss, but my take is that it creates blind spots in some family areas that should not be neglected. And those who are in the family do not always find it easy to confront Dad about these subjects. They have learned that it is best to stay out of his way.

So what do you do if you are in a business family with an oblivious older generation? What is the point of even bringing it up, he probably won’t even listen. Right? You may be surprised.

Start. Start somewhere. Anywhere. Get together and talk in a group. Start conversations about how things are being done and how that affects everyone else. Bring in someone from outside the family if you need to.

Ignorance can be solved by knowledge. Oblivion requires awareness. Too many people are doing too many things while UNAWARE of the unintended consequences of their actions. They need to be made aware, to shake them out of their oblivion. It is never too early to start.

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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Les expériences partagées comme point en commun

Je suis revenu de belles vacances cette semaine, après avoir passé presque trois semaines au Brésil avec ma famille. Comme de raison, les gens que je rencontre me posent tous la même question, soit, “Puis, comment ça a été?”

Après la première réponse, qui fut toujours “fantastique” ou une autre adjectif semblable, je suis porté à ajouter que c’est les expériences partagées que nous avons vécues ensemble qui seront les plus beaux souvenirs pour moi. Évidemment, j’espère que ça sera pareil pour mes enfants.

Ça me rappelle d’autres vacances que nous avons prises ensemble au fil des années, mais, que les enfants semblent avoir oubliées en grande partie. Maintenant agés de 12 et 13 ans, je crois que les souvenirs seront gravés un peu plus profondémment.

Nous avons vécu des moments inespérés de l’Amazonie jusqu’aux chutes d’Iguaçu, en passant par Sao Paulo et Rio, en plus de plusieurs plages et parcs nationaux. Plus qu’une semaine avec une famille d’amis Brésiliens, des matchs de futbol avec des foules électrisantes, en plus de beaucoup d’animaux sauvages qu’on ne voit pas chez nous.

Mais ça sera surtout les petits moments entre nous qui resteront avec moi à long terme.

Les expériences que nous vivons et que d’autres ont déjà vécu peuvent aussi servir de point commun, même quand nous ne les vivons pas ensemble ou au même moment. Je parle ici de gens qui nous rencontrons, et que par la suite on apprend que nous avons étudié à la même école, ou qui ont joué dans une même équipe, ou qui ont vécu une certaine expérience.

J’ai eu le malheur d’avoir petit accident de voiture il y a une quinzaine d’années. En sortant de nos autos, j’ai fait une échange de carte d’affaires avec l’autre conducteur. Il a regardé ma carte et m’a demandé, “MBA? Quelle école?” Je lui dit “Western” (Maintenant connu comme Ivey). “Moi aussi”, il répond. Avec ça, nous étions sur la même longueur d’ondes, et il m’a dit que s’il y avait des dommages, il m’appellerait.

Je me rappelle d’avoir lu une histoire sur Pat Burns, coach de hockey. Il n’avait pas un agent comme les autres, il faisait confiance à son cousin, Robin Burns, ex joueur de la LNH, mais aussi un homme d’affaires avec beaucoup de succès et très respecté.

Après avoir conclu une entente entre Pat et les Bruins, le négociateur de l’équipe avait demandé à Robin, “Where did you go to law school?”, en présumant que lui aussi était avocat de profession. C’est un exemple qui démontre que la façon dont on agit peut créer l’illusion que nous avons vécu une expérience semblable, avec un résultat positif.

Quand on parle de familles en affaires, un point contentieux peut se développer entre les membres de la famille qui travaillent dans l’entreprise et ceux qui ne sont pas employé. C’est souvent à cause du manque d’expériences partagées que les problèmes surviennent.

Voilà l’importance de la communication, et même de faire certain de planifier des activités pour toute la famille pour servir de point commun et d’expériences partagées. Il s’agit d’un bon début pour débuter des discussions et d’encourager la communication entre tous les membres de la famille.

Denièrement, j’aimerais souligner que quand les gens qui travaillent dans une entreprises familiales ont la chance de s’entretenir avec des conseillers qui ont eux aussi déjà travailler au sein d’une compagnie familiale, le fait d’avoir vécu des experiences semblables peut aussi aider à mener à un niveau de compréhension plus profond, plus rapidement.

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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WHERE am I Going to Die?

Years ago, I heard someone mention that unlike most people who wondered WHEN they are going to die, he would prefer to know WHERE he was going to die. That way, he could simply avoid going to that place until he was ready.

I have since repeated this story many times, and for whatever reason, I almost always use Toronto in my example. Maybe it is because as a life-long Montrealer, the natural inter-city rivalry seemed like a good fit.

I recently had reason (and time) to think about this old story as I got to spend more time than planned waiting at the airport in Montreal for a Toronto-bound flight.

I was scheduled to fly into Toronto on airline that I prefer not to name, but let’s just say their name rhymes with “quarter”.

I needed to be at a course on Monday at 8:30 AM, and not wanting to kill my whole weekend with the family, I booked a seat on their Sunday 8:10 PM flight, conveniently into Billy Bishop airport, very close to my downtown hotel.

I arrived at the airport and immediately noticed more people than usual, and many of them were complaining. I soon learned that the airline’s computer had suffered a system shutdowm due to glitch earlier in the day, and they were trying in vain to play catch up.

It was 7:00 PM and they told me my flight would leave at 10:35. Oh well, I will get to bed late but by midnight I should be at my hotel, no big deal.

I could go on about how the departure time kept getting pushed back, but we have all been there. After it got moved to midnight, a plane arrived at our gate at 11:45, and I thought, “Oh cool, it’s here, we’re gonna leave soon”. HA HA HA. This plane is staying here overnight. Our plane just left Halifax.

At this point I started thinking that maybe someone was trying to tell me that I should NOT go to Toronto.

We finally boarded around 1:00, but after we got on the plane, they told us that it was too late to land at Billy Bishop. OK, we all think, we will be going to Pearson, further from downtown, but at this hour, there won’t be any traffic, so it is not that big a deal.

But NO, that would make too much sense. After we boarded, we learned that we would be going to a nearby city, let’s call it Shlamilton. Big groan from everyone.

Okay, not true. There was one happy guy, who happened to live there. But wait, Holy Crap, what if it is really Shlamilton I need to avoid? I can’t even get off this plane now! This could be the end.

No time to think about that, a crying baby takes my mind off it. A few minutes later he stops, but is quickly followed by crying baby number two.

We landed in Shlamilton at 2:30 and boarded a bus (except for the one lucky guy who took a cab home). The bus got us to Billy Bishop just before 4:00 AM.

There were 4 taxis waiting, and over 30 people on the bus. Some more fun awaited…

It was a long travel day, but I made it, finally getting to sleep around 4:30. Maybe I don’t have to avoid Shlamilton? Maybe I should avoid “quarter”? Or maybe I need to make sure my will is up to date.

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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Sharing my Warmth Goes to the Dogs

At our house, in addition to Mom and Dad and the two kids, we also have 3 cats and 2 dogs. Like most dogs, ours do not like thunderstorms.

We live in a nice neighbourhood that happens to be relatively close to where our local NHL hockey team has their practice facilities, so quite a few of the players live nearby.

One of these players is an all-star goaltender that we will call “Larry Nice”. He is also the owner of a couple of dogs, which I know since I follow him on Twitter, where he recently posted a photo of his two pals.

I volunteer at a Montreal charity called Share the Warmth, and can usually be found there on Thursday afternoons when we give out boxes of food to the local folks. When I leave the house on those days my wife will often say “Have fun sharing your warmth today”.

During the food bank, we give out pet food when we have it, but we ran out a few months ago and have had to say “Sorry, we don’t have any this week”, when people asked.

I recently contacted someone I knew who worked for Hagen, a local pet food manufacturer, and through her and Hagen’s generosity, we finally managed to have lots of dog food on hand for a change.

So on a recent Thursday, I was “sharing my warmth” and we were giving out lots of dog food, probably more than we should have, since it had been so long and we really had quite a bit of inventory for a change. At the same time, storm clouds were brewing (literally).

Back at home, the dogs were in the backyard. The one who usually freaks out during storms has been known to break through or dig his way out from under our fence. It is for this reason that I got him a dog tag with my cell phone number and address on it.

The people coming in for food were dripping wet from the rain. I am hoping that the bit of thunder that I heard in Montreal did not mean that my dogs were getting scared in the yard.

At about 2 o’clock, my phone rang. The guy on the other end told me he had my dog. He said he could meet me at a nearby parking lot and give him back to me. I explained that I couldn’t get away and my best-case scenario would be to meet him in about 20 minutes.

Then the nice man noticed our address on the dog tag and offered to bring him back home. I said, yes, please, and thank you, and informed him that there would be another dog there waiting for his vagabond buddy.

I got home a couple of hours later and found both dogs safe, sound, and quite dirty. Later I sat back and checked my Twitter timeline to see what I had missed during the day.

What’s this I see? “Larry Nice” has tweeted that he “picked up a fugitive today”, with a link to a photo that he posted.

Curious, I clicked on the link, and almost fell off my chair when I saw my dog in the back seat of Larry’s Ford pick-up. Thanks Larry, for a story that I have already told quite a few times, and will continue to share. The dogs sure hope you never get traded, especially not to the Lightning.

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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